As we wrap up Stress Awareness Month, I’ve been thinking a lot about the conversations I’ve had over the past few weeks.

With leaders.
With HR teams.
With individuals trying to navigate their day-to-day work environments.

We spent a lot of time talking about stress this month. But not just the obvious kind, like deadlines or heavy workloads, a topic that kept popping up was something a little less visible, but just as heavy. The stress of having conversations we don’t want to have.

Having the Hard Conversation

There’s a moment I see all the time in my work when someone will start by telling me they feel overwhelmed or that their team feels “off,” something isn’t quite clicking the way it used to. And at first, it sounds like a workload issue, but as we keep talking, something else surfaces. There’s a conversation they’ve been avoiding.

Maybe it’s an employee who isn’t meeting expectations or a coworker who said something that didn’t sit right. Maybe it’s a tension that hasn’t been addressed with a friend or family member, and everyone can feel it.

Then it suddenly becomes clear. It’s not just the work that’s stressful. It’s everything that’s not being said. It is the feeling of having to walk on eggshells, the tension when you walk into the room, and the fake façade that everything is okay when, really, it is not.

Don’t Hold It In

The longer we avoid those conversations, the heavier they get. What starts as a small moment, like a missed expectation, a quick comment, or a slight shift in tone, begins to grow. It gets replayed in our minds and shows up in how we interact. It creates distance where there used to be a strong connection.

And instead of addressing it directly, we carry it, day after day. It becomes a real burden or a heaviness that is exhausting to carry over time.That’s where a lot of stress actually lives.

Don’t Avoid It

One of the things I heard repeatedly this month was, “I just don’t want to make it worse.” And I get that. Because most people don’t avoid feedback because they don’t care; they avoid it because they care a lot. They don’t want to hurt someone's feelings or create conflict. There is a deep concern that it will damage the relationship. So, they stay quiet.

Unfortunately, many can only hold it in for so long, and one day they are so overcome by their frustration that it comes out in a way they didn’t intend. They SNAP! We have all been there. It is embarrassing and something we don’t like to admit to.

That’s why, throughout April, I didn’t just focus on stress itself; we addressed the root cause and focused on how to start the hard conversations that create it. Because stress doesn’t just come from what’s happening, it comes from what we’re holding in.

SBI Framework

One of the tools I shared with teams this month is something called the SBI framework. It’s simple in theory, but powerful in practice. Instead of reacting emotionally or speaking in generalities, it helps you slow down and get clear. You describe the situation (S), name the behavior (B) you observed, and explain the impact (I) it had.

What I love about it is that it removes the guesswork. It allows you to communicate what actually happened without layering on assumptions or emotion, and when people start using it, something shifts. The conversation shifts from blame to understanding.

What I’ve seen, time and time again, is that most workplace stress isn’t coming from one big issue. It’s coming from the accumulation of small, unaddressed moments. You know, the death-by-a-thousand-papercuts style.

A comment that didn’t land well.
An expectation that wasn’t clear.
Feedback that was never given.

Individually, they don’t seem like a big deal, but over time, they shape how people feel at work. They impact trust, communication and whether people feel comfortable speaking up or decide it’s just easier to stay quiet.

Takeaway

If there’s one thing this month reinforced for me, it’s this:

The conversations we avoid are often the ones creating the most stress. Not the workload. Not the deadlines.

The conversations.

Moving into May

As we move into May, which is mental health awareness month, I’d invite you to think about this:

What is one conversation you’ve been putting off? And what might change if you approached it with clarity instead of emotion?

Because when we learn how to handle those moments well, something powerful happens. We don’t just reduce stress; we build stronger teams, create more honest relationships, and start building workplaces where people don’t feel they have to carry everything on their own.

That’s the work.

And it’s worth it.