“How are you doing?”

“I’m fine.”

It may be one of the most common and least reliable conversations in the workplace.

We say we’re fine when we’re tired.

We say we’re fine when we’re overwhelmed.

We say we’re fine when we’re trying to hold everything together, don’t know how to explain what’s happening, or aren’t convinced it is safe to tell the truth.

Most of the time, “I’m fine” really does mean someone is having a difficult day and will be okay. But sometimes, it doesn’t.

During Suicide Prevention Week, we are reminded that the people around us may be carrying struggles we cannot see. According to the CDC, 48,824 people in the United States died by suicide in 2024. Millions more seriously considered, planned, or attempted suicide.

These are not simply statistics. They are employees, coworkers, managers, friends, parents, spouses, and community members.

Mental health may feel deeply personal, but it doesn't stay neatly outside the workplace. People bring their stress, grief, anxiety, depression, financial concerns, family challenges, and health conditions through the door with them, even when they are doing their best to hide them.

That is why mental health awareness is not only a personal wellness issue. It is a workplace and leadership issue.

Leaders Are Often in a Position to Notice

Most adults spend a significant portion of their waking hours at work. Coworkers and leaders interact with one another regularly, observe changes in behavior, and see patterns develop over time.

A leader may notice that someone who is normally engaged has become unusually quiet. A dependable employee may begin missing deadlines or making uncharacteristic mistakes. Someone who regularly eats lunch with coworkers may suddenly start isolating themselves. An employee may appear increasingly exhausted, irritable, anxious, distracted, or emotional.

None of these behaviors automatically means that someone has a mental illness or is experiencing suicidal thoughts. There may be many possible explanations. The goal is not to jump to a conclusion.

The goal is to notice that something has changed and care enough to ask.

Look for Patterns, Not One Bad Day

Everyone has difficult days. We oversleep, lose our patience, forget something important, or struggle to focus. That does not necessarily indicate a larger concern. When evaluating a change, consider four things:

Frequency

Did this happen once, or is it becoming a regular occurrence?

Arriving late after a medical appointment is different from arriving late several times a week for the past month.

Duration

Is the change connected to a temporary challenge, or has it continued for an extended period?

Feeling overwhelmed during a major deadline is different from appearing exhausted and withdrawn for several months.

Severity

How significant is the change? Is it interfering with the employee’s work, relationships, daily functioning, or safety?

Change From Baseline

Is this typical for this person?

Some employees are naturally quiet. Others prefer eating lunch alone. Those behaviors may not be concerning on their own.

Pay attention when someone begins acting noticeably different from the person you normally know. Leaders are not expected to monitor or analyze every emotion an employee displays. But when a pattern develops, ignoring it rarely improves the situation.

Stress, Burnout, and Mental Illness Are Not the Same

One reason leaders hesitate to address mental health is that they are not sure what they are seeing.

Stress is a normal response to pressure or challenging circumstances. It is often short-term, connected to a specific situation, and improves when the situation changes.

Burnout is physical, mental, and emotional exhaustion caused by prolonged stress. It develops over time and usually does not disappear after one good night’s sleep or a weekend away. You must also address the underlying workload, lack of control, ambiguity, conflict, or lack of recovery.

Mental illnesses are health conditions that affect how people think, feel, and function. Conditions such as depression, anxiety disorders, bipolar disorder, and post-traumatic stress disorder may require professional treatment and ongoing support.

These experiences are different, but they are all real, and they all deserve an appropriate, compassionate response. Leaders do not need to determine which diagnosis or label applies. They need to recognize when someone may be struggling and know how to respond within their role.

You Don’t Have to Fix It. You Just Have to Show Up.

Many leaders stay silent because they are afraid of saying the wrong thing.

They worry they will make the situation worse, cross a personal boundary, uncover something they are unprepared to handle, or become responsible for solving a problem beyond their expertise. That hesitation is understandable.

But checking in with someone does not require you to become their counselor.

Your role is to:

• Notice

• Check in

• Listen

• Offer support

• Connect the person with appropriate resources

Your role is not to diagnose, counsel, or personally solve everything they are facing. A conversation can begin with something as simple as:

“I’ve noticed you haven’t seemed like yourself lately, and I wanted to check in. How are you doing?”

Or:

“I’ve noticed you’ve been quieter than usual and have missed a few deadlines. Is everything okay?”

Start with curiosity, not conclusions.

Avoid minimizing their experience with comments such as:

• “You’re just stressed.”

• “Everyone gets overwhelmed.”

• “You’ll be fine.”

• “Leave your personal life at home.”

• “You just need a vacation.”

Instead, listen more than you speak. Ask open questions. Thank the person for trusting you. Ask what kind of support would be helpful. You may not have the perfect words, but genuine concern is often more powerful than a perfectly scripted response.

When You Are Concerned About Suicide, Ask Directly

Warning signs that may require immediate attention include expressions of hopelessness, talking about death, withdrawing from others, giving away meaningful possessions, or saying that others would be better off without them.

If you are concerned that someone may be considering suicide, do not dance around the question.

Ask clearly and directly:

“Are you thinking about suicide?”

The 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline recommends being direct, listening without judgment, taking the person seriously, and seeking support rather than promising secrecy.

The Columbia Protocol also provides evidence-supported questions that can help identify whether someone may be at risk and what level of response is needed.

If someone is in immediate danger, stay with them and seek immediate help. Call or text 988, call 911, or take the person to the nearest emergency department, depending on the urgency of the situation.

Knowing how to respond before a crisis occurs can help leaders move from panic and uncertainty to calm, compassionate action.

Resources Only Work When Employees Know About Them

Many organizations offer an Employee Assistance Program, mental health benefits, counseling services, or community resources. Unfortunately, employees often do not understand what is available, how to access it, or whether using it is truly confidential.

Mentioning the EAP once during orientation is not enough. Share mental health resources regularly. Explain the range of concerns they can address, including stress, grief, family challenges, financial problems, substance use, anxiety, depression, and work-life concerns. Remind employees they don't have to wait until they are in crisis to ask for help.

Suicide Prevention Begins Before a Crisis

A mentally healthier workplace is not created by sharing the 988 number once a year. Prevention also involves examining the everyday conditions employees are expected to work in. Leaders can reduce unnecessary workplace stress by:

• Providing clear priorities and expectations

• Reducing ambiguity wherever possible

• Giving employees appropriate autonomy and flexibility

• Encouraging questions and honest feedback

• Normalizing mistakes and requests for help

• Respecting personal time and recovery

• Addressing bullying, harassment, and unresolved conflict

• Modeling healthy boundaries

• Responding to concerns consistently and compassionately

The workplace cannot prevent every mental health challenge or personal crisis, but workplace culture can influence whether people feel safe enough to speak up before they reach a breaking point.

Are Your Leaders Prepared to Have This Conversation?

Mental health conversations are difficult not because leaders don't care, but because many have never been taught what to notice, what to say, or where their responsibility begins and ends.

That is why I created:

When “I’m Fine” Isn’t Fine: Recognizing Mental Health at Work

This practical, interactive presentation helps HR professionals and organizational leaders:

• Understand why mental health matters in the workplace

• Distinguish between stress, burnout, and mental illness

• Recognize potential behavioral, emotional, physical, and performance-related warning signs

• Start supportive conversations without diagnosing or overstepping

• Listen and respond with greater confidence

• Connect employees with appropriate workplace and community resources

• Recognize suicide warning signs and respond appropriately

• Create workplace conditions that support mental health before a crisis occurs

Participants also work through realistic workplace scenarios so they can practice what they might actually say, not simply learn what they should theoretically do.

This session is appropriate for HR conferences, leadership events, workplace wellness programs, safety conferences, manager training, and organizational development programs.

Because when someone says, “I’m fine,” a prepared leader knows how to look beyond the automatic answer.

You do not have to fix everything.

You just have to notice, care enough to ask, and know what to do next.

Interested in bringing When “I’m Fine” Isn’t Fine to your conference, leadership event, or organization? Contact Life Force Wellness to discuss your audience, goals, and event.

If you or someone you know is struggling or experiencing a mental health crisis, call or text 988 or visit 988lifeline.org. The 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline is available 24 hours a day, seven days a week. If there is an immediate threat to someone’s safety, call 911.