"Balance is not better time management, but better boundary management. Balance means making choices and enjoying those choices." - Betsy Jacobson

Many of us strive for life balance but often find it challenging to achieve. Whether it's juggling work, family, social commitments, or personal passions, equilibrium seems elusive. As a wellness coach I specialize in helping clients craft positive life balance so they can live less stressed lifestyles.

When working with clients, four (4) primary themes commonly appear that keep them from achieving balance in their lives. Balance starts in the mind; it is the mindset we hold and the beliefs we have cultivated about balance. Let's explore four main thought patterns people struggle with when trying to achieve positive life balance and how to address them effectively.

 1. Internal Beliefs Do Not Match Actions – Feelings of low self-worth or imposter syndrome.

One of the core reasons people struggle with life balance is a misalignment between their beliefs and actions. You may believe in the importance of family time, personal health, or professional growth, but an imbalance ensues if your daily actions don't reflect these values.

My Recommendations: Identify why you self-sabotage in taking the appropriate action and spend time reflecting and reframing negative thought patterns around this behavior. Regularly reflect on your core values and compare them to your daily routines. Create a list of your top priorities and evaluate how much time you are dedicating to each. Make adjustments to ensure your actions align with your beliefs. This might mean scheduling family dinners, setting aside time for exercise, or dedicating specific hours to career development.

2. Public Stigmas – External Expectations

Society often imposes expectations that can skew our sense of balance. External expectations can lead us astray from our true desires and needs, whether it’s the pressure to climb the corporate ladder, maintain a perfect home, or engage in social activities. I hear clients say things like, “I have to do well on this project because it is what my boss expects of me.” Or “I have to keep a clean home, or my mother-in-law will judge me for it.” They are not things we believe we need to do to be successful, but they are the things we do because others will perceive them as success.

My Recommendations: Identify the sources of external pressure and critically evaluate their impact on your life. It’s essential to set boundaries and prioritize your well-being over societal expectations. Practice saying no to activities or responsibilities that don't align with your personal goals. Remember, it’s your life, and you have the right to choose how you spend your time.

3. Internal Stigma – Fear of Failure

The fear of failure often drives us to overcommit and push ourselves beyond reasonable limits. This internal stigma makes us believe that not doing everything perfectly equates to personal failure, leading to burnout and a sense of imbalance. This could be an expectation of only making homemade meals from scratch that ordering a pizza or going through the drive-through makes you a terrible parent.

My Recommendations: Cultivate self-compassion and understand that perfection is neither attainable nor necessary. Embrace the concept of "good enough" and prioritize tasks that truly matter. Practice mindfulness and gratitude to shift your focus from what you haven't achieved to what you have. Setting realistic goals and celebrating small victories can significantly reduce the pressure you put on yourself.

4. No Clear Objectives

Without clear objectives, it's easy to get lost in the myriad of daily tasks and commitments. A lack of direction can lead to a scattered focus, making it difficult to achieve a balanced life. Clients who do not have clearly defined goals frequently describe a feeling of spinning their wheels and not getting anywhere.

My Recommendations: Set clear, achievable goals for different areas of your life. Create a vision board or write down your short-term and long-term objectives. Break these goals into smaller, manageable tasks and prioritize them. Regularly review and adjust your goals to ensure they remain relevant and aligned with your evolving life circumstances.

Achieving life balance is a dynamic process that requires continuous reflection and adjustment. The definition of balance changes as we grow and our circumstances change. By aligning your actions with your beliefs, setting boundaries against external pressures, overcoming the fear of failure, and establishing clear objectives, you can create a more harmonious and fulfilling life.

Remember, balance is not a static state but a continuous journey. Be kind to yourself along the way and recognize that every small step towards balance is a significant achievement. Start today by identifying one area where you can make a positive change and watch as your life gradually aligns with your values and aspirations. Take our free assessment to figure out where to start at lifeforcewellness.com/balance.

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